It's my weakness, but this could be different...
Okay, first of all, it's not like Friday was the first time I met this guy. We had met years earlier. However, we were both dating other people at the time. My best friend was insistent that we would be a good match. And she hated to say that because she did not want to be a matchmaker (due to her previous disasters). Yet she had to mention every time we talked on the phone "You know I think you and .... would get along well."
Then we were supposed to meet over Memorial weekend. And that was a disaster in timing. But that weekend, we did talk on our cell phones. So we had each other numbers (thanks to caller ID). Then we would have gotten together two weeks later, but I was in Chicago. So we talked on the phone a few times while I was in Chicago. Then a few more times when I got back, and before we were to meet Friday.
Then we finally met Friday afternoon as two single people, expecting nothing, hoping for a possible connection. I think we were lucky we didn't start a forest fire! At first I was caught up in the moment, then I tried to hold back to see what sincerity there was in this guy.
Here's why I think this might be something very worthwhile:
1.) We can carry on intelligent conversations. While we have different occupations, I understand some of the electronic aspects, then he would tell me more about it. We talked about astronomy, physiology, electronic engineering, immmunology, and more.
2.) We can also just goof around. Things aren't always serious. (So far) he hasn't done something juvenille such as tickle me in public, but he wasn't shy about holding on to me in public in a respectable fashion. We also sometimes finished each others jokes, or just laughed at the others joke.
3.) Even when I began to hold back emotionally, he seemed to give more. In the past, I felt that I was falling for the guy, and not getting anything back. I did eventually tell him that I was trying to be more reserved emotionally because I didn't want to get hurt, and did dicuss it.
4.) I think that we are both are being realistic that the distance between San Diego and Tucson. (Even the distance between San Diego and Phoenix is a big deal.) If either of us spent each weekend trying to see the other, than the other factors in our everyday life would be put on hold. We are instead hoping to spend as much time together as possible when we can be together. His job also requires sometimes to be at a location in the world other than San Diego, which I told him that I can live with. After all, I may have to retreat to New Jersey for a couple of months for a consultation job.
5.) We do enjoy each others company. I think that he enjoys my physical and mental companionship, and I do as well for him. I think that it makes for something other than a physical relationship.
6.) He is a total gentleman. The entire weekend while camping, he cooked all the meals. He always offered me the food first. He also respected my wishes with whatever I felt comfortable doing. He even gave me a wonderful backrub after our 6-7 hour ride on the quads when I was having tight muscles in the shoulders.
7.) He knows a good deal of what the hell I've lived through. While I don't think he knows how long I had to deal with it until I had my MCS surgery two years ago, but he knows about my MCS surgery. It's kind of hard to hide an implanted wire and pacemaker when you're getting to know each other physically. He even gave me grief for not telling him about my celiac disease. I had brought my own "celiac safe" foods that I barely used because he changed a portion of the food to be safe for my diet requirements. He thought I was being silly for not telling him. I told him that I thought it was silly for him to suddenly accomodate a menu for me, and that I'm used to being self-sufficient in looking out for my own interested. He promised me this AM in e-mail that he was going to read more about celiac disease. (And buy some potato vodka just for me when I do make it to San Diego.)
8.) I know that I'll think of more later.....I justt I'm just trying to realize how lucky I am that I found such a great guy. And this is my way to realize this...