So I went on the date after all last night. Met at steakhouse for dinner before the show at the Improv.
BTW: I truly hate MapQuest now because it told me the restaurant was on the OTHER side of the street. That "misdirection" made me a few minutes late, but he was there already.
Steak was undercooked, but otherwise okay. Talked some more throughout the meal. In my attempt to lower my guilt about him paying for the dates, I suggested that next time we should go for a day hike through the Dixie Mine trail in the McDowell mountains. He seemed to like the idea, and wanted to invite his best friends (married couple trying to have a baby) join us. The bad news of the idea is that we'll be very close to home, and it'd be hard to not invite him to the house afterwards. But it being a couples date is different, and I might be able to not have him come to the house.
He asked if we could drive to the Improv in my car because his truck was full of stuff
(yes, it seems like AZ men have trucks). I said no problem, so we talked about random things. I finally told him about my brain surgery - since he's studying to be a RN, I figured it wouldn't freak him out. He asked if it'd still be okay to give me neck or back rubs because he likes to give them. I said it's only a problem if the wire running down my neck would freak him out but it doesn't hurt me.
Improv was fun. Got front row seats and shared a table with an "interesting" couple. They had been there for a couple hours before hand having drinks the whole time, so they felt comfortable sharing a lot of stuff about themselves to us. We learned pretty much their life story together. When it came to politics, the guys started to get into it, and we girls decided to make a bathroom trip in hopes that our return could defuse the situtation. That worked, and they agreed to disagree with no hard feelings.
I feel it's never a good idea to debate political spectrums when drunk.Show started a few minutes later. Lots of laughs. Our table started to get picked on because the guy was starting to fall asleep
had one too many - we made sure she was driving.So I drove him back to the restaurant to get his truck and said "goodbye". Either he picked up on the fact that I'm not feeling 100% (doubt it), or he's taking it real slow because we parted with a kiss on the cheek and hug. Don't get me wrong - it's nice to not feel rushed. And when we were talking to this couple before the show, I was leaning in to hear them, and he put his hand on my back which I will admit feels very nice. I still feel I need to clarify this a bit - after all, aren't most guys ready to hit the sack on the first date?
Got a text message today saying that he really enjoys the time we are together. And that he can't wait to show me his "real self". The last part had me a bit on edge - like what am I really in for? I just replied back isn't that what I have been seeing?" He backpedaled a bit and said "of course".
Perhaps it's the fact that I haven't been totally honest with him about Mr. San Diego, but I feel Mr. Right Here is holding something back. Granted, it's best to keep your past relationships in the past and he
DID date my best friend from high school a long while back. I know she wouldn't approve of what I'm doing.
And his attention to details of my life back when we first met still surprises me. He asked if I was on crutches second semester - I was. So somewhere, somehow, I was making an impression.
As for Mr. San Diego - I finally lied to him about Mr. Right Here. I told him yesterday that I was probably going to be busy with dinner with my aunt that just came in (which would have been true if I had cancelled this date). And while I'm being honest that I don't feel that instant chemsitry with Mr. Right Here, the fact that I still go on these dates must say a lot.
Mr. San Diego will be here in a couple weeks. I think I'll have to be honest with him about Mr. Right Here and my confusions. I have not physically cheated on him with Mr. Right Here except for one kiss on the mouth. I have had other platonic guys give me more involved kisses than what I have had with Mr. Right Here. I guess it's the "emotionally cheating" that I've heard about.
But why can't I get rid of Mr. Right Here? I don't know. Mr. Right Here has been a perfect gentleman, and made no real pressure on me except for wanting to keep seeing me. I know eventually I'll have to tell Mr. Right Here about Mr. San Diego, but I'm not sure what to say.
I know I just need to decide. I think that the week of Thanksgiving I will have to choose.
Mr. San Diego is also a gentleman, and the chemistry is Pop Rocks and soda with fireworks. But Mr. San Diego wants to remain Mr. San Diego and not become a Mr. Right Here. Because of that, I haven't seen Mr. San Diego in over two months.
My mom jokes that she just wants someone to sweep me off my feet and treat me well. I joked back that she should tell that to Mr. San Diego. If he isn't willing to do that, then I will have to let him go. Maybe I'm sounding selfish, but Mr. Right Here means a lot because he IS here.
Labels: love life
