I'm glad it's almost the end of the workday. The fatigue never went away, so I did what I could. When I start walking, I've been getting these pins and needle feelings in my right cheek area that intensify with every step. When you've been through day after day of the pain, and not getting any good sleep, it can break you. I don't know how I managed to hold it together (for the most part). The biggest thing that could have made me go crazy was that fact that I thought that I was the only one in mid-twenties that have AFTP (or something like that). Through the listserv, I have found a few people in my age group that are wrestling with the same troubles I have. One of them also has a MCS (Motor Cortex Stimulator) implanted and has done so well with it. Knowing that I'm not crazy because I claim to be in such pain, when a person my age isn't supposed to have such problems.

Sorry I've been a bit busy lately. I drove up Friday after work to my mom's house (a good 2.5 hour drive) for the weekend. Saturday AM, my cousin and her two girls arrived - THREE HOURS LATE! I barely made it to meet them because I couldn't get anyone who knew when the plane would arrive - or just hang up on me because their system was too busy. The story of what happened will always be a reminder to me NEVER fly ATA. I flew on ATA once to Chicago....and Southwest is first class compared to ATA.

I had a great time with my cousin and her girls. We went to the waterpark on Sunday for four hours and nobody got sunbruned - it paid off to constantly putting on sunblock lotion. I took Monday off to be with them and we went to Arizona Mills and had a great time - especially at the rock and mineral store. I stayed for dinner which was homemade lasagna (my grandmother shared her recipie). So I didn't get home until 9:00PM. It feels like a Monday for me since I wasn't at work yesterday.

While I was there, the pain wasn't too much of a bother. It was nice to have a few minutes to tell my cousin all the little details about my MCS that I haven't shared with everyone. With what she's been through, I knew that it wouldn't gross her out. Answering her questions helped remind me of things I should be trying (because I haven't touched my settings for weeks). I did wake up this morning with a crushing pain that kept me in bed for another half hour. Thankfully, once I got moving, the pain was very tolerable. But I am physically exhausted. If the pain I felt when I first woke up was there all night, that would explain things. But I need to try and keep that under control so I can get some rest (even if this means sleeping on an incline again).

I've also had back spasms in my lower back that started when I fell over a baby gate (don't ask). But for the last week and a half, the spasms moved to my upper back by the shoulder blades. Muscle relaxants do not help it 100% (could be because I was on Flexeril for about a year for the ATFP: the painful stabbing attacks of pain were also causing my cheek muscle to spasms (kind of like a tic). The Flexeril helped, but it may be the reason why it isn't helping me enough at the recommended doseage schedule. I noticed that when I sleep on an incline, the spasms in my lower back were better in the morning...I guess I'll give it a try for this part of my back.