you can be friends
I don't care what the writers of "When Harry Met Sally" say, guys and girls can be friends.
Most of my friends are guys. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a tomboy, or worked in a hardware store, or compensating for the fact that I know my dad wishes I was a boy. Whatever the reason, I have a lot of friends that are guys.
Yes, my "best" friends are girls. But I don't get to see them as often as I do my guy friends.
In order for you to be my guy friend, I have to trust you. And even though I've been burned by guys that I thought were friends ending up doing something that I didn't want (which usually ended the friendship). The ultimate trust test is to go out drinking. If we can have a good night on the town with a few drinks and the conversation never gets suggestive or the hands never go below a goodbye hug at the shoulders, congrats.
The other test involves bringing others in the mix. I have a guy friend that doesn't drink (yes, it's good to have diverse friends). One Saturday, he stopped by the hardware store and asked if I was free for lunch (for a friend, it's possible). And then he asked a yard guy and his girlfriend to join us. I was a little guarded because I was wondering what was going on if it was a double date kind of thing or not. But we went, and had a good time, and friend paid for everyone (despite our objections). It's almost easier to go out with others because you're less likely to do something affectionate in front of somebody you know.
The other test is their level of personal involvement. I have a guy friend from the hardware store. We've gone out drinking a few (too many) nights, and he'd call to make sure I made it home. We're working weekends setting up the new store, and if he needs a favor, he calls on me first. Something about our attitudes towards work and life, we really get along. About a month after we got to know each other, he suddenly mentions there's a girlfriend. In Seattle. They're going through problems, and wanted a good friend to listen to his side of the heartache. I've heard this story before, and I almost fell for it before. He finally produced a picture, but what made it more believeable was when he asked if she could call me someday because she was getting worried about all the time we were spending together. We had a nice short chat, and I assured her I was committed to someone else, and not to worry.
What does boyfriend think of this? He trusts me. I can't keep a secret from him anyway. I told him about the dates I went on late last year because I was bored and lonley. The trust goes both ways, and I have no problems if he wants to go out to a strip club with the guys or something. And I know he has no free time to date anyone else.
Most of my friends are guys. Maybe it's because I'm a bit of a tomboy, or worked in a hardware store, or compensating for the fact that I know my dad wishes I was a boy. Whatever the reason, I have a lot of friends that are guys.
Yes, my "best" friends are girls. But I don't get to see them as often as I do my guy friends.
In order for you to be my guy friend, I have to trust you. And even though I've been burned by guys that I thought were friends ending up doing something that I didn't want (which usually ended the friendship). The ultimate trust test is to go out drinking. If we can have a good night on the town with a few drinks and the conversation never gets suggestive or the hands never go below a goodbye hug at the shoulders, congrats.
The other test involves bringing others in the mix. I have a guy friend that doesn't drink (yes, it's good to have diverse friends). One Saturday, he stopped by the hardware store and asked if I was free for lunch (for a friend, it's possible). And then he asked a yard guy and his girlfriend to join us. I was a little guarded because I was wondering what was going on if it was a double date kind of thing or not. But we went, and had a good time, and friend paid for everyone (despite our objections). It's almost easier to go out with others because you're less likely to do something affectionate in front of somebody you know.
The other test is their level of personal involvement. I have a guy friend from the hardware store. We've gone out drinking a few (too many) nights, and he'd call to make sure I made it home. We're working weekends setting up the new store, and if he needs a favor, he calls on me first. Something about our attitudes towards work and life, we really get along. About a month after we got to know each other, he suddenly mentions there's a girlfriend. In Seattle. They're going through problems, and wanted a good friend to listen to his side of the heartache. I've heard this story before, and I almost fell for it before. He finally produced a picture, but what made it more believeable was when he asked if she could call me someday because she was getting worried about all the time we were spending together. We had a nice short chat, and I assured her I was committed to someone else, and not to worry.
What does boyfriend think of this? He trusts me. I can't keep a secret from him anyway. I told him about the dates I went on late last year because I was bored and lonley. The trust goes both ways, and I have no problems if he wants to go out to a strip club with the guys or something. And I know he has no free time to date anyone else.
Labels: life stuff, love life
posted by Jenn @ 10:06
1 Comments:
At 01:17 ,
Anonymous said...
Of course, they can. :)
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