My first fight?

I think there should be a rule that you can't IM when you're drunk.

Last night my boyfriend gets home from work. He logs in and starts to tell me that his older sister got in trouble with the law yet again. He doesn't know any details yet, so we talk about other things. When my dinner is ready from the oven, he goes to talk to his Dad to find out the details of his sister's latest troubles.

A half hour later, he comes back, and says it's the same old stuff. She's bi-polar, and is fine when on medication. But without monitoring, she stops taking it, starts other drugs, petty crimes, etc. She was in jail somewhere in Mississippi state when Katrina hit, and she was trying to call from jail during the storm.

The biggest liability with her is that she has a child that is being raised by its grandparents.

I don't know much about bi-polar disorders. It's sad that even for your own child you can't take your medications daily.

I've never met his older sister. I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. Especially since this is his older sister, therefore family. He starts being blunt by saying "I couldn't handle a person like older sister" and "I will never be able to forgive and forget what she's done" and "she'll never change".

Granted, IM can't reflect speaking tones, but my quick to anger temper is about to be lit.

Then he drops a bombshell - "we didn't have it easy growing up, but I was able to deal with it and have a decent life why couldn't she?"

WHAT? I know that your parents got divorced, and your dad came out of the closet and moved in with a guy. But what else haven't you told me?

Before I can ask him to clarify, he then rubs me the wrong way with "you don't understand - you had it easy growing up".

Okay, so I grew up in a happy house with a mom and dad that loved me. Don't throw that in my face unless you start telling me why you resent it so much. But I take a deep breath, but I know something's not right.

So I ask what's really going on. He finally said something that made a bit of sense "I drank too much".

So something else happened with the news of his sister that made him hit the bottle. I'm going to try and find out what.

The moral of the story - don't IM when you're hitting the bottle.

BTW: I did get an email from him early this AM apologizing for anying he said that upset me. Not really upset, just wondering what else he hasn't told me that can be so terrible.